But one thing is consistent and that is the Haus Krai. The term Haus Krai is in Tok Pisin, one of Papua New Guinea’s official languages and loosely translated means House of Crying.
It is the PNG version of what Western culture would call a Wake but in my opinion with several key differences.
Firstly a Wake is a informal time for visitation and remembrance of the dead and emotion is from what I have experienced is kept to a minimal level with everyone expected to be strong mentally and emotionally.
In PNG, a Haus Krai is a time to mourn for the loss of the person who passed away, so we cry with family and friends until we can no longer cry, laugh at a fond memory shared with the deceased and even vent anger with the family or sometimes at the family. It allows you to release and deal with the emotions caused by your loved one’s death, and which I believe then helps you cope with your loss better.
Having recently experienced Haus Krai’s, I feel it allows you to break knowing that someone will be there to catch you and hold down the fort for you until you can do it yourself.
After a death, word spreads quickly from relatives to friends, workmates etc. Usually the Haus Krai is located at the family home of the deceased sometimes it is held at a relation’s home if the family home is not in a safe convenient location, or too small. Word is then put out so everyone knows where it will be held and will go on until a day or two after the deceased is laid to rest.
People go to see mourning family, and mourn with them, they will then return again several times to keep the family company or stay until everything is over.
Most Haus Krai’s are Canvas/Trap tents or temporary Sago shelters put up outside the family home which allows the family to retreat if they need to. Chairs or temporary benches are loaned to the family or built. This is all done by neighbors’, relatives and friends. Every Papua New Guinean knows what needs to done and will show their love in little ways by helping build a shelter or bringing food or firewood to help the family during this time.
Once the main tent is set up, a temporary kitchen will be built. It will be set away from the main tent and away from the public view and will be used to organize refreshments for visitors upon their arrival as well as meals for the family and those staying with the family at the Haus Krai.
Most of the food that runs the kitchen is contributed by visitors. A family member will take charge of and keep account of all food donations and ensures there is always enough in the kitchen to ensure all visitors have a hot cup of tea or coffee and something to eat. Manpower depends on each area’s customs or traditions. Females relatives and Inlaw’s (Tambu's ) are the usual manpower for the Haus Krai kitchen.
Visitors or relatives going to a Haus Krai will NEVER go empty handed. Most will buy 2 or 3 loaves of bread, rice, flour, sugar, milk, teabags, coffee, bread, tinned food, and/or fresh meat and go visit the family. If they go in the afternoon they will sometimes take a tray or dish of cooked food.
All visitors are offered refreshments, it is the family’s way of thanking the person for visiting the Haus Krai. On the visitor’s part, it is considered polite to have something even if it is only one cup of tea or coffee.
The Haus Krai operates on a 24 hour basis, this helps the mourning family in two ways, they are not left alone as someone is constantly there with them and taking care of them.
Most nights, church groups visit to give comfort and sing at the Haus Krai into the early hours of the morning, other nights fellowship is held or stories are told as people reminisce about the deceased.
During the Haus Krai period, funeral and burial arrangements details are hashed out because a lot of things come into play, particularly if the deceased parents are from two different places or, if they had a final wish and importantly financial limitations will be taken into consideration, however the final decision almost always is made by the immediate family.
Once arrangements are finalized, most people will bring contributions, some in cash, others in kind or both. Since family members are too distraught, usually a close family member such as the older brother (if it is an adult or elderly parent) or the father (if it is a child) will hold the cash contributions and take names of everyone that contributed.
A death is a big issue, and families are close knit with the Wantok System still strong so most relatives will send a contribution of some sort. If the person was employed then the employer will usually contribute in some form.
Most Papua New Guinean families first preference will be to take their loved one home to the deceased’s home village however if there are financial constraints then the deceased is laid to rest at the next best location for example the town cemetery.
The family of the deceased are required to follow certain procedures or rules; for example if the deceased is married, the spouse is supposed to wear black this is particularly enforced with women and grooming must not be a priority. Men will stop shaving or cutting their hair. Children are expected to wear some sort of black attire but this is not as strict. They will remain like this until the Death Feast during which time the spouse is cleaned can return to a normal lifestyle IF they want to. These rules differ in different provinces and cultures throughout PNG.
In towns which have morgues, the deceased can be held until, immediate or extended family and friends can travel in from outside if they do not reside in town.
A Haus Krai in town can be held for a week to a month. Families aim to complete the Haus Krai tasks quickly so there is minimal impact to family members who work or are students. Most will stay home until the funeral then can return to work or school but are still expected to show they are in mourning, such as by wearing black bands around their wrists, not shaving, cutting their hair or wearing black when home from school or work to name a few, again it depends on their customs.
Since most deaths are unexpected, the Haus Krai provides families with emotional comfort, and the financial assistance they need as well as eases the mental stress they face.
After the funeral, it is now the deceased's family's turn to thank those that gave contributions, helped in some way or came to mourn with them.
They will usually buy a pig or several pigs, store goods as well as garden food and divide it into portions, the bigger the contribution, the bigger the portion. It will then be distributed immediately afterwards, even if the person does not reside in the area, their share will be set aside. The family will call the person and the person will instruct the family who will receive their portion.
After this is done, then a big dinner (Kaikai) or feast will be held usually the same night. The next day the Haus Krai is removed. Everyone goes home until the Death Feast.
While I have mentioned what is generally done at a Haus Krai, please bear in mind PNG is a wonderfully diverse country and traditions differ so can the rules and procedures at a Haus Krai.
RURAL AREAS: It is also important to note that in the rural coastal areas, Haus Krai’s tend to be much shorter for example in my village, it is only for several hours as the body will begin to deteriorate rapidly due to the heat. However the procedures of the Haus Krai are still the same.
NOTE: In my opinion for Expatriates planning to attend a Haus Krai to visit a family or colleague’s family, the most intense period will be the first day as everyone will be distraught. The second day or the third day would a better option unless you are family then you will be expected to go as soon as possible.
If you think I missed out something please let me know in the comments below. Coming Soon Part 2. The Death Feast.
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